Tuesday, October 6, 2015

Draft Thesis Statements

Draft Thesis Statements

In this blog post, I will share the 2 working theses that I have created. I will tell my reader what I think about my working thesis statement(s) and explain what I think might be difficult or what might be easy about developing my project from this point forward. 
Anderson, Paul. "Funny Pictures - Thesis still not done, huh?" 4/11/11 via flickr.
Creative Commons Attribution 2.0 Generic License.

Thesis 1

Arguments in Nutrition are often fueled on one's perception of facts and evidence. After reading Sugar substitutes: Health controversy over perceived benefits, I realized that the author wrote about both sides of his argument, but focused more toward his views against artificial sweeteners.

Thesis 2

Sugar substitutes: Health controversy over perceived benefits's author utlizes facts and evidence to inform his audience about both viewpoints in the controversy of artificial sugars. However, he wants the audience to realize that the harms of artificial sweeteners are more severe and should be more emphasized than their perceived benefits.

Explanation

I think both my theses explains how the author is attempting to achieve a specific purpose. I mentioned in both of them that his purpose is to present information, facts, and evidence that proves that artificial sweeteners have some benefits, but they have more harms that are often overlooked. Many people are unaware about the harms of artificial sugars. Therefore, the author wants to inform the people about this.

While I am writing to my audience, I will try to address the author and his purpose. I need to convey and explain the way he tried to address his audience in order to teach my audience how to construct their argument using this source as the example. Therefore, I need to show my audience how his choice in explaining one side more than the other is the method is uses to express his side of the argument without actually directly rejecting the perceived benefits. I think my best thesis was the second one because of my words choice, and my better explanation of how the author addresses his argument.

Reflection
I read Olivia Wann's blog post because I know that she is writing about a nutrition argument as well. I think she was able to develop her second thesis the best because she addresses how the author addresses the audience while addressing her own audience. I think this is important because we need to illustrate how authors in our field convey their message. After reading Olivia's, I feel slightly more confident because I was doubting that I was doing it right. I have never written a rhetorical analysis in this manner before, so I was unsure if I had approached it properly.

After reading Joki Potkonjak's blog post, I questioned the length of my own. Even though hers I felt were too lengthy, I wonder whether or not mine are too short. She fit a lot of information into her thesis, which I think was good because it set a specific tone for the paper. I think it is important to utilize both audiences in order to convey our message. I think after reading hers, I feel more confident. I still am questioning mine. However, I think that I somehow manage to make my theses not too long or too short.

4 comments:

  1. I agree with you on how your second thesis was stronger. You addressed how the author writes the article and the techniques they used. It is important to understand the author's position and what they are writing about, but equally as important to know what techniques, specifically rhetorical techniques they are using to sway the reader.

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  2. Your second thesis statement was definitely the stronger one as the first one was more vague. I think you could even go into a little more detail on what rhetorical strategies your author used in the second thesis statement. However, you did get the main point across so it does the job anyway!

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  3. Good job. I think that you did a great job of explaining the purpose of the article, but you could include more of the rhetorical strategies that the author used to accomplish that purpose. Nice work overall though!

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  4. I definitely liked the second one better because it was more clear and explanatory, but I don't like how you started off with the article name, as it was a little confusing. I think combining the two would be perfect.

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