Considering Types

Considering Types

In this blog post, I am going to explain which types of argument from my reading that I'm considering for my Public Argument project by addressing the information "Five Basic Types of Public Argument" in Writing Public Lives.

Which types of arguments are you considering for your Public Argument Project?

I am considering position argument the most because I want to develop my own defenses on my position. I think this is important because I feel passionate about childhood obesity. I once was obese. Therefore, I want people to be aware of how to stop it and prevent it. I also am considering a casual argument because I do not want to be too formal. This issue also occurs in society which is what this type addressed. I think it would be good to show my audience the potential solutions as well because I do not want childhood obesity to continue!

Which argument types would best fit your project? Why?

I basically mentioned this above, but I think that position and casual argument would be best for my project because it helps develop and idea for my audience. The casual argument will give my readers some advice in order to fix childhood obesity. Whereas, position argument will allow me to develop my own ideas further. I need to look more closely to what these two arguments have to offer before I make my final decision. As of now, I am leaning more toward position argument because I think it would benefit my audience if they were to know a developed explanation for the data and information I provide to them.

McGuire, Ryan. "Argument Conflict Controversy Dispute Contention." 10/20/14 via pixabay. CC0 Public Domain License.

Why wouldn’t some of them work?

Evaluative argument would not work because it talks about the successfulness of something specific that had been proposed. It could work, but I am not trying to prove that child obesity exists. I am trying to give explanations for why it exists and not how successful it is. By no means is childhood obesity successful. Additionally, the proposal argument wouldn't work either because to me it seems to be a very instructional format. I am not telling people how to save the environment or to eliminate some small thing. Childhood obesity is too complex for that type. Lastly, the refutation argument will not work because it is refuting an argument. I am not going against the existence of childhood obesity because it exists.

Reflection

In Lia Ossanna's "Considering Types" post, I think it made sense for her not to use the proposal argument because like she said she does not have enough experience or knowledge on the manner. I agree with her that a refutation argument would be the best because she is going against the current drought plan. It seems as if she has everything pretty well thought out. In her "My Rhetorical Action Plan" post, I honestly really liked her idea of a genre of creating a letter to the city council! I think that it is so creative, and it made me rethink my own genres. I think I personally could do something more creative as well. I think the letter would be very successful in carrying out her argument because she said in your "Considering Types" post that she wanted to do a refutational argument. I think a letter would be the best way to express this. I really really like the creativity on her part for that. I learned that I was thinking way too narrow-minded on this argumentation genre decision. However, the letter goes outside the box. Therefore, I want to research more creative possible genres for myself.

After reading Olivia Wann's "Considering Types" post, I really feel as if I am lacking creativity in this project. I have read hers and Lia's and so far mine seems SO boring. I love her idea of a cooking show! I love to cook so I don't know why I didn't think of that. I feel like I might create kind of like a campaign video or shocking news video on childhood obesity, but I am unsure still. I think your proposal argument is that best way to help people with diabetes because you would give them a proper solution to deal with their disease. After reading her "My Rhetorical Action Plan" post, I realized that I love her idea and this argument of hers will be so easy for her to carry out. It will be almost as if it was natural because cooking shows are fun. It seems to me as if I am creating something that is not creative, and I envy your ability to think so creatively on this. I lacked that. I need to rethink this because I think I am creating a harder project than it needs to be. I need to let my creative juices flow more!! Her plan of action seems to be well thought out. However, I think it would be good for her to consider the harms of artificial sweeteners because there are some important harms. I think it would be good to let her audience know this or have it be in a caption or something.

My Rhetorical Action Plan

My Rhetorical Action Plan

In this blog post, I am going to provide concise and specific details to answer the questions from "Developing a Rhetorical Action Plan" in Writing Public Lives.

Audience

The audience already knows that childhood obesity is becoming a huge issue in America due to fast food. They know this because the news emphasizes it. Michelle Obama even created a plan to reduce it. I think that my audience might believe that every child goes through a chubby stage before puberty. However, this is not the case for everyone. Therefore, they need to be informed more on the topic.

I believe that a lot of Americans teach their children to clean their plates and leave no food. This value was created because back in the Great Depression, food was scarce. Therefore, whenever food was available, people during that time period were told to finish whatever they had. Now that food is more readily available, they teach their younger generations to eat up because you never know when there won't be food available. This notion leads to childhood obesity because every child has a different energy need, and if their plate has too much food on it, they will gain weight.

I think research of statistics, personal stories, obesity rates, and pictures will help my argument's persuasiveness. In order to do this, I plan to create a QRG because this mean has some opinion, but it is mostly information. It also makes use of the spacing of the paper with subtitles and images which will keep the audience engaged.

As I mentioned above, I think subtitles and images of graphs and obese children would work best in this public argument. The subtitles will break apart the text and allow the reader to be guided more easily. Images of graphs will provide statistics and trends that will hopefully shock my audience. The images of obese children will open their eyes because a lot of people do not realize the comparison of an obese child to a healthy-weight child.

I want my audience to feel compelled to reduce childhood obesity. By providing an argument that will connect to my audience on a personal level, I think that I will be able to motivate them to change the rates of childhood obesity. I think this because their children and grandchildren are at risk. Childhood obesity brings along many struggles in life socially, mentally, and physically. Therefore, my audience will feel compelled to make a difference.

Genre

I will use a QRG as my form of writing. The QRG functions to inform, persuade, and to give some bias on an issue. I chose it because I want to express my sentiments toward the topic. However, I also want to inform my readers, too. Examples of QRGs that are about nutrition can be found here and here.

The setting of my genre could be in a newspaper, journal, blog post, or video. I think this would be the best setting because it will appeal to my audience. Also, these settings could allow it to be more widespread and not only for my selected audience. A huge variety of people skim through these settings. I think that they might be drawn in if I use enough visuals.

I will definitely use ethos, pathos, and logos to appeal to my readers. I will use ethos because I am a Nutritional Science major. I have been passionate about nutrition for about ten years now. I once was an obese child, but I taught myself the proper ways to lose weight and keep it off. Therefore, I can provide insight into being an obese child. I will use pathos because I want my reader to feel bad for these obese kids because they do not always have the upper-hand in deciding whether or not they want to be obese. Sometimes it is the parents at fault. Lastly, I will use logos by providing a lot of information and statistics about childhood obesity.

Altman, Gerd. "Business Idea Planning Business Plan Business." 3/29/15 via pixabay. CC0 Public Domain License.

I will use pictures of obese children to startle my audience, and images of graphs that have giant spikes. These images will shock my audience. Not only will it capture their attention, but it will make them understand my topic better.

I want to write something informal and conversational. I want my audience to feel comfortable in listening to what I have to say because I think they need to be comfortable with this topic. This could be classified as a sensitive topic for many people because many people do not want to admit that their child is obese. The word "obese" has been made into a negative word, an insult, because many people use it to make fun of people. I want the audience to know that I was also uninformed once, but I want to help them understand the severity of this topic!

I could also use a Research Paper as my genre for writing. A research paper functions to inform and persuade the audience. Examples of research papers can be found here and here.

I could see this second genre being used in schools, journals, or databases. I think I could see children learning the most from it and utilizing it in order to help them with their own writing.

I will mostly use logos because I think that research papers mostly contain information and facts. However, I will use real life examples that will hopefully appeal a bit to pathos. Lastly, I will use some ethos while I discuss certain studies and credible sources.

On my cover page, I will find a picture that relates to childhood obesity. Research papers do not contain images within them typically.

I would use a formal style because that's how research papers tend to be written. However, I would like to be casual in how I write because I do not want the audience to be intimidated by me. Therefore, I will find a middle ground for that.

Positive Reactions

• Decline in Childhood Obesity
• Decrease in Happy Meal purchases
• Increase in homecooked meals

Negative Rebuttals

• Continue to feed Child Unhealthy Foods because part of culture
• Inform parents/grandparents that culturally unhealthy food can still be eaten in moderation
• Reject modifications about culture cuisine
• Even though people have been around for a long time
• Ignore my entire public argument
• It is their own children's lives at risk. It would do anyone good just to listen.

Analyzing Purpose

Analyzing Purpose

In this blog post, I am going to brainstorm using the instructions provided from Writing Public Lives.

What do you want your readers to do, feel, think believe etc. as a result of reading it?

I want my readers to be healthier after reading my public argument. I want them to feel compelled to end childhood obesity. I want them to think about all of the risks of child obesity. I want them to think about the actions people are taking or their beliefs that are causing childhood obesity. I want the reader to believe that the future of childhood obesity remains in our hands, and we have the power to change it for future generations to come. I want my reader to feel as if childhood obesity really is a disease. Childhood obesity is considered a disease. Therefore, I want my reader to understand what makes it a disease and how and why it is so contagious today.

Plausible Actions/Reactions

I think that people are likely to feel motivated to end childhood obesity because it is a very unhealthy lifestyle for someone to live. I also think that people will reject what I say to them because they are so set on their own beliefs and ways of life that they are unwilling to listen or to change. People will be able to relate and see the reality of my writing because childhood obesity is all around us in our world.

Lamb, Kieran. "The Purpose of Life is a Life Full of Purpose." 10/08/12 via flickr.
Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 2.0 Generic License.

Not Plausible

People will not think that my writing is pointless because I will give a lot of support. People will not completely disagree with me because I will give insight on why things are the way they are. I will provide statistics and personal stories that will allow people to relate to it. Therefore, it will be impossible to totally refuse my argument.

Desire to End Childhood Obesity

It will enable the public to act and develop a healthier lifestyle. They will feel compelled to raise awareness and spread the word. They will be more likely to impose a healthier lifestyle upon their children because they would not want to contribute to the rate of childhood obesity. They will help those who are unable to pay for healthier food options.

Advancing My Cause

Parents are very likely to help my cause because they will feel the need to prevent their child and many other children from suffering from obesity. I think that these parents might assist others the most that are unable to provide healthier options to their children. Maybe parents will provide healthier options to food pantries because people tend to give a lot of processed snack foods as opposed to fresh produce

Analyzing Context

Analyzing Context

In this blog post, I will analyze the context of my public debate by answering the questions in Writing Public Lives.

What are the key perspectives or schools of thought on the debate that you are studying?

I am studying nutrition, obesity, and childhood obesity more specifically. Through nutrition I am able to narrow in more on the causes of obesity, and then the causes of childhood obesity. In order to do this, I will look at the environmental, mental, hormonal, physical, and cultural influences that could have impacted the surge of childhood obesity.

What are the major points of contention or major disagreements among these perspectives?

The major points of contention were listed above. I had mentioned that nutrition is a big part of the content. However, influences, such as, the environment, mental state, hormones, physical activity, and society all play a role in contributing to childhood obesity. There are also some major disagreements because a lot of cultures revolve around food. Therefore, people in these cultures might be harder to convince about how their nutrition is very poor because it is just part of their everyday lives.

What are the possible points of agreement, or the possible common ground between these perspectives?

There needs to be some scientific evidence that denotes these foods as bad or some statistics that show how these groups of people's nutrition impacts the rate of childhood obesity. That being said, the groups of people might be more willing to change their ways in order to decrease the rates of childhood obesity and possible prevent it from continuing to rise.

Stux. "Eat Food Nutrition Feed Logo Pictorial Letters." 10/26/13 via pixabay. CC0 Public Domain License.

What are the ideological difference, if any, between the perspectives?

Basically, they are cultural differences. Many people think that food is "healthy" or okay because they were raised to eat it. However, these options are not necessarily healthy. I think that if they were better informed about the wrong choices they make with their food, then they might be willing to change. The health professionals just need to inform these people because some things are not changeable. For example, socioeconomic status impacts the food options these people have available to them because some foods that are healthy are more expensive than fast food.

What specific actions do their perspectives or texts ask their audience to take?

They want the audience to take into consideration the outside influences beyond poor food choice. They want to audience to consider things that some people do not realize is the reason behind their child's obesity. I mentioned these influences previously. However, if someone was to recognize that these influences had negative impacts as they do, people might be more willing to make a bigger effort to fix it.

What perspectives are useful in supporting your own arguments about the issue? Why do you choose these?

I think it is useful to look at the influences that can be controlled in order to support my argument. Therefore, the environment and the actions of parents that implicate the nutrition of children will be the best to support my argument because they can be manipulated in order to change childhood obesity. For example, if parents fed their children less candy on Halloween, it could reduce childhood obesity.

What perspectives do you think will be the greatest threat to your argument? Why so?

The perspectives that could threaten my argument would be culture and socioeconomic status because these aspects cannot be changed. These aspects only hinder my argument because the people that are influenced by these categories could argue that it is their way of life, and it is hard to change. They could argue that many people over time have survived with these methods of theirs they use. However, I would argue back about it is possible to adjust these old habits a bit. Also, I would find ways to prepare cost effective healthy meals.

Reflection

I read Jovanka Potkonjak's blog post. I noticed that hers was a lot more concise than mine was. I liked how hers was written in a way that was very specific and not too overly detailed. I think I might have overdone examples and detail in mine. However, I think that both of ours adequately meets the blog's requirements and answers the questions properly. I also learned more about fracking arguments.

I read Lia Ossanna's blog post. I felt like she had a very good grasp of her. She wrote in a way that seemed very educated, professional, and passionate about her topic. Her was a little more detailed than mine. Like mine, she used specific examples, and I noticed others did not do this. I think the more specific this is the easier it is for the reader to understand more about your topic. I also liked how she provided a link to her annotated bibliography. I think that could be very helpful for people very interested into her topic on the environment. I learned that it is possible to write your ideas in a more formal manner because I think I wrote mine more conversationally.

Audience and Genre

Audience and Genre

In a this new blog post, I will identify 2 specific, targeted groups of individuals that might be an audience for my next project. I will briefly describe how and why these people will be interested in my research. For each group, I will identify 2-3 specific places I might publish my research; I will describe both where and what type of genre/publication I would need to produce and publish. For each location and genre, I will provide links to 2-3 examples.

Audience 1: Parents

One target audience for the argument over childhood obesity would be their parents. Parents of the obese children would be interested because parents want to help their child get back to a healthy weight. For the most part, parents provide food for their children. Therefore, this topic should spark their interest. TIME Magazine, Shape Magazine, or the website WebMD would all be good places to publish. In this case, a magazine article, a website article, journal, or video would all work because they all provide the means to express the information. Also, they express the information in a manner that allows them to be interested because they are easy to read but of a higher educational level

Examples for Audience 1

Here is an example of an obesity article in TIME Magazine that discusses fat cells, and here is another example from TIME Magazine that illustrates the importance of family dinners to help with obesity. Also, here is an example of an article in WebMD about our culture in relation to childhood obesity, and here is a video from WebMD that aims to stop childhood obesity. Lastly, here is an article from Shape that discusses how urine can determine your obesity risk, and here is an article about fat-shaming.

Joe. "Obesity in Children." 7/12/06 via flickr. Creative Commons Attribution-NoDerivs 2.0 Generic License.

Audience 2: Children

Another target audience would be the children who are obese. I chose this group because I think a lot of kids being informed about obesity could help them change their lifestyles. I know a lot of people do not know the urgency because they think it is part of a child growing up. However, childhood obesity has become very real and rapidly increasing This audience could be reached on a website the Centers for Disease and Control Prevention (CDC) and Children's Minnesota. This would mean that the piece could be written as a newspaper article or in a blog.

Examples for Audience 2

Here is an example from CDC that provides information for children in an easy manner to follow; here is another example from CDC that discusses the trends in childhood obesity. Here is an example from children's Minnesota that provides an easy to follow diagram for children about obesity; here is an example from the same place that includes a bulleted, easy-to-follow list.

Extended Annotated Bibliography

Extended Annotated Bibliography

In this blog post, I will create an extended bibliography of 4-6 new sources for my public argument. My public argument is about childhood obesity. Therefore, these new sources will be about childhood obesity and address my questions that I focused on earlier. 

Pacheco-Vegas, Raul. "Formatting Bibliography." 3/22/15 via flickr.
Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 2.0 Generic License.

The link to my Extended Annotated Bibliography can be accessed here.

Narrowing My Focus

Narrowing My Focus

In this blog post, I will narrow down my focus by selecting a few of the questions from my previous blog post. After I do that, I will explain about each one as it will relate to my new project assignment.

What ethnicity consumes the most food?

This question will help me further my argument because people around the world consume different amounts of food. Ethnicity and culture is a big part of the amount of food that people consume. For example, Korean food is most vegetables, fish, and lean meats. Whereas, American food tends to be fried, processed, and high-fat contented meats.

Gruntkosky, Melissa. "Obesity Campaign Poster." 3/23/10 via flickr.
Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 2.0 Generic License.

What age group consumes the most food?

This question will help me further my argument because I want to know why childhood obesity has significantly increased. I want to know if the eating habits of parents rubbed off on their children or if parents do not know portion sizes and give too much to their children to eat.

When has obesity become an issue?

This question will help me further my argument because it will help me identify when this problem first arose in today's society. From what I have gathered, childhood obesity is very common now. I want to know when, why, and how it first came to be. Answering this question will give me a better insight.

Questions About Controversy

Questions About Controversy

In this blog post, I am choosing to discuss childhood obesity. I know this is a large topic so I want to see what I can gather for this topic. I also mentioned a bit about artificial sweeteners because I think it plays a huge role.

Write 3 questions in which you identify things you still need to learn about about WHO is involved in the controversy.

What ethnicity consumes the most food?

What age group consumes the most food?

Has anyone consumed too many sweeteners and permanently damaged them?

Write 3 questions in which you identify things you still need to learn about about WHAT is up for debate in this controversy.

What are the greater health risks of obesity?

What are the damages that obesity have done to our environment?

Why are artificial sweeteners appearing in foods and companies not telling people?

Write 3 questions in which you identify things you still need to learn about WHEN this controversy has unfolded (and the larger contextual details of that time period that may be relevant).

When has the consumption of artificial sweeteners first began?

When has obesity become an issue?

When was the law created that allows companies to say "No Sugar" or "Sugar-Free" when there is artificial sweeteners in the product?

Talbot, John. "Ella the Snow Dog." 11/30/08 via flickr. Creative Commons Attribution 2.0 Generic License.

Write 3 questions in which you identify things you still need to learn about WHERE this controversy has unfolded - and I mean both physical spaces and cultural spaces.

Where has childhood obesity been the most controversial?

Have other countries around the world adapted to obesity as much as the United States has?

Where has artificial sugar consumption not become assimilated in culture?

Write 3 questions in which you identify things you still need to learn about HOW this controversy has unfolded in the media (including general popular media, scholarly media and social media).

What created the need for artificial sweeteners to be created?

How does the media hype obesity?

How has the media convinced society that artificial sweeteners are better than real sugar?

Reflection on Project 2

Reflection on Project 2

In this blog post, I am going to reflect on my Project 2 Rhetorical analysis.

What was specifically revised from one draft to another?

I needed to explain myself better. Sometimes I did not analyze the effectiveness or ineffectiveness of the strategy that my author used. This took away from the paper because I was unable to connect my paper together. I felt like a lot of it I just threw together because it had to do with ethos or logos. I did not really properly analyze why or how. Looking back, I know that I can still fix this even more than I already did. I don't want to write too much, but I think that it will be better if I did.

Point to global changes: how do you reconsider your thesis or organization?

I think my thesis is fine. I already put in a lot of time figuring it out and manipulating it. My organization is also okay. I only really needed to break apart a paragraph because it was too long. Other than that, everything seems to be okay organizationally. I did not really need to worry about my organization.

What led you to these changes? A reconsideration of audience? A shift in purpose? How do these changes affect your credibility as an author?

I made these changes because people pointed them out to me. People told me that I did not explain enough. I did not mention if something was effective or ineffective and I think that that is a big part in a rhetorical analysis. Therefore, as I went back I spoke with a more open mind. I tried to remove the bias because I had felt a lot while writing this. Eventually, it impacted my paper too without me realizing it until I had other people comment on it.

How will these changes better address the audience or venue?

These changes will allow the audience to better understand and effective strategy compared to ineffective strategies. I never really considered writing about that in my paper. However, now I know that it is very important because it basically is part of a fuller analysis.

Point to local changes: how did you reconsider sentence structure and style?

I sometimes wrote things weird. For example, I am unsure if I properly used parentheses at one point. However, they were correct because they served their purpose. I think that sentence structure was not much of an issue. At one point, I did not even finish my sentence; it was just hanging there. I think I did not properly go over my rough draft, but I hope that I fixed this enough for my final draft.

Gaspar, Joaquim Alves. "Reflection in Soap Bubble Edit." 10/05/07 via Wikimedia.
Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 3.0 Unported License.

How will these changes assist your audience in understanding your purpose?

These changes will assist my audience in understanding my purpose because they did not really really understand everything I mentioned. For example, I mentioned chemicals in fake sugars, but I never said what they were exactly. I left the audience with the name of the chemical without them knowing what it was. I think I overlooked the importance of knowing what the specific function of the name was. I needed to also emphasize more the effectiveness and ineffectiveness in order for them to really grasp my purpose.

Did you have to reconsider the conventions of the particular genre in which you are writing?

No, I did not. I only have to work on citing my sources. I think that it was harder for me because I have not written a rhetorical analysis in a while. After writing the QRG, I had been hopeful that I would not have to write anymore rhetorical analyses. 

Finally, how does the process of reflection help you reconsider your identity as a writer?

Reflection made me feel very bad about my writing. It made me feel as if I need to spend more time writing things in order for them to come out better because I know I have the potential to write very well. I am unsure how I let myself write so bad sometimes, but it happens. I will just know for next time to give myself more time to write this paper.

Reflection

I read Jovanka Potkonjak's blog post. Her and I both needed to redo our introductions and conclusions. Also, we needed to fix how we addressed our audiences. Both of us lacked how we attempted to talk to our audiences because we focussed too much originally on our audience that the author was trying to reach. 

Also, I read Olivia Wann's blog post. Her and I both needed to focus more on what our peers had to say about our papers. We had done them in a rushed manner, and our peers' comments helped us see the flaws. Like her, I also understand where my flaws lie and how to address them. After reading her reflection, I am glad to know that I am not the only one a little flustered by this.

Final Project 2: Rhetorical Analysis

Consuming Chemicals: A Controversy on Artificial Sugar

In this post, I will provide the link to my final Rhetorical Analysis for Project 2. The link to my paper can be accessed here.

Amos, Evan. "Rock Candy Crystallized Out of a Supersaturated Sugar Solution." 4/22/12 via Wikimedia.
Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 3.0 Unported License.

Punctuation, Part 2

Punctuation, Part 2

In this blog post I am going to go back to the inside cover of Rules for Writers and identify three more/different topics/chapters on Punctuation.

End Punctuation

The period typically ends a sentence. However, it can be used in abbreviations, such as, a.m. or p.m. The question mark completes. a direct question to ask the question. The exclamation point is used for an exclamatory sentence to illustrate excitement or emphasis.

Odder. "Warning Sign." 9/12/12 via Wikimedia Commons. CC0 Public Domain License.

Quotation Marks

I had always been confused about quotations inside quotations. Now, I know to use a single quotation mark to enclose it. In order to quote properly, it is necessary to introduce the quotation and to explain it after. I was never sure if this was completely necessary, but apparently it is.

The Apostrophe

I was unsure how to use an apostrophe to mark omissions in numbers. For example, writing '80s always confused me because I doubted that I was doing it right. I always assumed that teachers preferred the 1980's instead. Many people in school would misuse the plural of this. However, I had always gotten this corrected in the past so it is not difficult for me to do now.

Examples of Punctuation In My Rhetorical Analysis

"Americans consume copious amounts of sugars."

Unfortunately, I was unable to find anything that used periods as abbreviations from my essay. However, this is a simple declarative sentence where periods are used to end the sentence. I did not learn anything about periods because I use them daily, and I think I know all I need to know about them. They helped my paper though because without them I wouldn't be able to have proper grammar or sentences.

“...4 mg/kg body weight (expressed as steviol) has been established.”

Unfortunately, there also were not any apostrophe's that could be used to mark omissions as numbers. Therefore, I used an example here that used 2 different punctuation rules. Those rules being ellipses, parentheses, and quotation marks. This is helpful for me because all of these are used throughout my paper. It did not help me learn anything because I was already aware of these punctuations.

Copy for Paragraph Analysis 2

Copy for Paragraph Analysis 2

In this blog post, I am going to analyze my paragraphs in my Rhetorical Analysis. The Copy for Paragraph Analysis 2 can be accessed here. I analyze utilizing the following bullet points:

• focuses on a main point (RfW 4a)
• develops the main point (RfW 4b)
• organizes itself internally (RfW 4c)
• links ideas coherently (RfW 4d)
• provides smooth transitions (RfW 4d)

Later on, I discuss my strengths and weaknesses of my paragraphs.

Altmann, Gerd. "End Guy Cinema Strip Movie Film Video Cinema" 10/14/13 via pixabay. CC0 Public Domain License.

Strengths and Weaknesses

As a strength, I provide many transitions and make my ideas flow smoothly into each other. I accomplish this through the use of transition words. However, I seem to have many more weaknesses than strengths. During peer review, I noticed that it was common for people to note the bias. I think the bias that I wrote about took away from the main idea and development because I did not adequately describe the controversy. I ended up saying how the author was bias. Whereas, I wanted to bring the point across that he touches upon both sides of the argument. By failing to do this, my analysis lacked proper meaning. When I go back to edit this, I will consider to rephrase and recreate the purpose of the text.

Revised Conclusion

Revised Conclusion

In this blog post, I will completely rewrite a new conclusion. To do this, I will utilize the punctuation reading and the comments that people left on my Google Doc.

The comment "The start kind of sounds like you're continuing to analyze--perhaps give this a more, uh... "conclusive" feeling?" made me feel like I totally went about my conclusion wrong. I think I wanted there to be more of never-ending end to this because the topic cannot be concluded based upon one educated man's opinion. I felt like I ended it wrongly because I didn't want the reader to assume that his approach was the only correct approach. However, I am technically basing my paper off of this so I guess I need to write more like that. Also the comment, "Again bias. If you were to talk about how Tandel feels this way and then also included a counter argument to that statement, you would appear to have less bias." indicates that I am very bias! This person tends to pick at any sign of bias. I think that my author has a little bit though, and it is not my fault. However, I can probably limit the amount that I express in my writing.

However, I think that I would like somewhat of a greater direction for my conclusion. I wish the people provided more advice for changing it as opposed to what is wrong about it only. I would like to revisit this at a later date to better analyze and change my conclusion because I am still unsure and confused in the way that I need to change it.

JF10 "Super Mario World The End." 12/16/07 via flickr. Creative Common Attribution 2.0 Generic License.

New/Revised Conclusion

Tandel’s rhetorical argument on artificial sweeteners helps the reader better understand the artificial sugar controversy. Through his use of his public image, credible information, and knowledge of the counterargument, he gives the reader a further insight on the controversey without directly stating his actual opinions. He also uses historical records and expert opinions to support his claims. Tandel utilizes these rhetorical strategies in order to create a basis for his rhetorical argument that being that artificial sweeteners are more harmful than beneficial. He argues in hopes that Americans will use the information he provides them in order to limit or even eliminate their consumption of artificial sweeteners. However, he provides the counterargument of the benefits in order to eliminate any bias.

Original Conclusion

Tandel’s rhetorical argument on artificial sweeteners helps the reader better understand the artificial sugar controversy. Even though there are some perceived benefits, the harms outshine them. He appeals to the reader through his use of his public image, credible information, and knowledge of the counterargument. He also uses historical records and expert opinions to support his claims. Tandel utilizes these rhetorical strategies in order to create a basis for his rhetorical argument that being that artificial sweeteners are more harmful than beneficial. He argues in hopes that Americans will use the information he provides them in order to limit or even eliminate their consumption of artificial sweeteners.

Revised Introduction

Revised Introduction

In this blog post, I will completely rewrite a new introduction. To do this, I will utilize the punctuation reading and the comments that people left on my Google Doc.

On my draft, think people were a little harsh. I would say that I prefer previous people's comments because they were more helpful and less criticizing. The way some were written almost make me want to give up because I was already unsure about how to write and I had mentioned in my post for my draft. However, people overlooked that and decided to be very straightforward about my errors.

According to other people, they thought that my writing was strictly biased and therefore, there was no point to even continue. I think that I mentioned too much about how the author was more lenient to one side than the other. Even though I thought that I had added enough about the controversy on both sides, people disagreed. Also, I tended to discuss all three aspects of rhetoric, which my paper only focused on two of the three. I think that I could possibly rephrase my introduction in that sense because a lot of people were mislead by the way I wrote about the rhetorical situations. However, I would have to disagree with my bias because I mentioned sugar in general being high in consumption not artificial sugar. And even if I did say artificial sugar, that is a fact. I never said that was good or bad. People manipulated it on their own.

 Unknown. "Intro." 3/31/08 via Wikimedia Commons. Public Domain License.

New/Revised Introduction:

The consumption of sugar in America has skyrocketed. Not only do Americans consume sugar in sugary foods, but companies hide sugars in foods that people are unaware about. The rate of obesity and chronic diseases that are linked to sugar have increased, and many people have made the switch to zero-calorie, artificial sweeteners. They can be found in everyday foods, snacks, drinks, and fast-food chains. Nowadays, many people are making the switch to artificial sweeteners because they perceive only the few benefits. However, there are also many negative effects of artificial sweeteners as well. By deconstructing Sugar substitutes: Health controversy over perceived benefits, the author utilizes his educational background for credibility and facts to inform his audience about both viewpoints in the controversy of artificial sugars. However, like other writers in the nutrition field, he never directly states his argument.

Original Introduction:

Americans consume copious amounts of sugars. The rate of obesity and chronic diseases that are linked to sugar have increased, and many people have made the switch to zero-calorie, artificial sweeteners. They can be found in everyday foods, snacks, drinks, and fast-food chains. Nowadays, many people are making the switch to artificial sweeteners because they perceive only the few benefits. However, there are many more negatives. Sugar substitutes: Health controversy over perceived benefits's author utilizes his educational background for credibility and facts to inform his audience about both viewpoints in the controversy of artificial sugars. However, he wants the audience to realize that the harms of artificial sweeteners are more severe and should be more emphasized than their perceived benefits.

Reflection on Project 2 Draft

Reflection on Project 2 Draft

In the post below I will be reflecting on my draft as well as planning what I think I will need to specifically revise. To do this I will answer various questions from A Student's Guide to Writing.

When I peer reviewed, I looked at Olivia Wann's and Joy Kosik's drafts.

Thesis

My thesis mostly focused on introducing the topic based on the rhetorical situations. Even though I did not directly mention them. I think I need to go back and fix this because other people were more rhetorically specific. Also, others appeared to address their audience more directly than I did. However, I thought that I was still able to direct it to them.

Organization

I think I could possible separate my paragraphs more. My first body paragraph is really long, but it discusses the same rhetorical strategy. I think I can separate the paragraphs where I start another example because it appears to be very long compared to the other ones that I read. I think that this will provide better organization and an easier read for my readers.

ClkerFreeVectorImaging. "Drawing Drafting Draw Artist Reading Blueprint." 10/15/12 via pixabay.
CC0 Public Domain License.

Rhetorical Situations

I think that by only focusing on two rhetorical situations, I did a better job at explaining both of them. One, I emphasized more in order to show the greater importance of it. This made my paper unique compared to the others because the others that I read appear to be more consistent in their paragraph lengths

Evidence

I feel like other people provided about the same or a little more evidence than I did. However, my explanations seem longer. I realized that others had more concise explanations, which I am going to focus on doing.

Conclusion

I think people were unsure how to end their analyses just like I was. I was unsure how to go about this because I wasn't sure whether I needed to focus more on my rhetorical situations or more on my audience. I need to refer back to the comments that people left for me in order to add more detail.

Reflection

I read Olivia Wann's blog post, I realized that her and I face similar issues. I think that our topics of nutrition tend to be very new to our audience, but we assume they know more than they know. I also think that for adding quotations, I wanted to add more as well. However, I think I did a good job of this in the first body paragraph, but I need to work on it for the second. I also think that adding information from other articles might benefit my topic.

I read Joy Kosik's blog post. Her and I both had issues with the thesis and conclusion. We both felt like our theses didn't cover the full essay. We felt as if the paper had extraneous content that the thesis did not include. Also, we both faced an issue about our conclusions in that they did not seem to fully conclude our essays properly. Both of us need to definitely work on this by looking through the rubric.

Punctuation, Part 1

Punctuation, Part 1

In this blog post, I am going read about punctuation in Rules for Writers to discuss what I learned about punctuation while focusing on what was new or surprising.

Unnecessary Commas

I learned to not use a comma between compound elements that are not independent clauses. I've noticed that I tend to this at times because a lot of writers do this. I am unsure if they intentionally do this or not, but I have seen commas used in this way. From now on, I know that I will not do this because now I know that this is wrong. Furthermore, I do not use commas to set off a concluding adverb clause that is essential to the meaning of the sentence. I always knew not to this because our teachers emphasized it. However, sometimes this would confuse me, and I would have the think about it in order to apply this. From now on, I am going to not do this more often because now I know that it is totally incorrect.

FreeClipartVectors. "Interrogation Onomatopoeia Punctuation Question." 10/15/14 via pixabay.
CC0 Public Domain License.

The Colon

When using a colon after an independent clause to direct attention to a list, an appositive, a quotation, or a summary or an explanation, I had always felt uncomfortable. I rarely do this because I was never positive that this was correct. However, after reading the section on this, it surprised me that it could be used in these situations. In high school, a lot of teachers steared us clear of using colons because a lot of people would use them in order to describe the text less. Now, I know that I can use colons, but I will definitely use them more often. Also, to avoid common misuses of the colon, I will follow the methods that it can be used in above. If I ever doubt the correct usage, I will refer back to the text to make sure.

Other punctuation marks: the dash, parentheses, brackets, the ellipsis mark, the slash

I knew how to use the dash in the same way that parentheses could be used. However, I rarely used this method because I never felt like it was appropriate to my text. In the same way that colons can be used, the dash can be used the set off appositives that contain commas and to introduce a list. I am still confused on how to do this because it is very similar to the colon or commas. I think that this method, however, is used to emphasize theses elements of the text greater than if a colon was used.
Likewise, paraentheses are also used when setting something off as a side not. However, I feel like this is more informal. The Slash seems to be more for separation of verses of poetry. I've noticed it used a lot in Shakespeare's writing. Therefore, I will not need to use this much.

Reflection

In Olivia Wann's draft's first paragraph toward the end, she said, "There is really no excuse for this, because you can find studies proving and disproving the safety of eating just about any food- except for things that the general public knows to be harmful (like eating swimming pool chlorine tablets). " This sentence misuses a comma because she uses the words because. It is unnecessary to put a comma before above because it connects the two independent clauses. She also attempts to use a dash here, which I think she did use correctly. I think it is important that I read up on dashes because I had always been in doubt when and where to use them, but now I think I can better recognize it. I learned that the dash is more common than I expected.

In the last sentence of Joy Kosik's draft's first paragraph, she said, "By using dramatic word choice and tone, and by providing concise details about the issue, Kessler has created an effective argument in that it makes the reader want to agree with the existence of the problem Kessler presented." I think she misused a comma here because she did not use it to separate independent clauses or for a list. From what I learned, I think she could have reworded her sentence so that she didn't need to use a comma here at all. I learned that many people are unaware and do misuse the comma.

Draft of Rhetorical Analysis

Draft of Rhetorical Analysis

In this blog post, I am going to provide a link to my Draft of Project #2. In this rhetorical analysis, I am going to explain to my audience the appeals the author uses. He appeals to his audience through ethos and logos. Ethos is used because he is a doctor and a medical professor. Logos is used because he states many facts which takes up majority of his paper. In order to do this, I have to vividly describe ethos and logos, how it was used, and give a great amount of support. I think that I did this. However, I will also ask my fellow peers questions about my writing to make sure that I am doing it correctly. I am unsure if I wrote this properly. I think I was able to address the audience that my author was trying to address, but I am unsure if I explained this properly to the audience I am addressing.

The link can be accessed here.

Project 2 Outline

Project 2 Outline

In this blog post, I am going to approach my Project two outline, but writing a paragraph about how I used the text provided to better analyze my text. Also, I will mention the rhetorical situations and strategies used. Lastly, I will plan my outline. The picture I chose to represent my outline is an outline of a tree. A tree is a symbol of life and the coming together of nature. I chose this outline of a tree because it is literally an outline, and it is a piece of our ecosystem that involves many parts. Just like my outline, the tree consists many parts and is the center of all beginning (a.k.a outline is the beginning of my essay).

"Sections of the Paper" allowed me to better understand the parts of my analytical papers. For the Introduction, it asked "Do you begin with a general idea, a history, or do you dive right into your analysis?" (122). I thought that this was helpful because I asked myself while creating my introduction these questions. I ended up going with a general idea. More specifically, it was an idea of the typical shopper purchasing foods at a grocery store, and unknowingly, they are selecting items that contain artificial sugars. Next, it said "Focus the bulk of your writing on text itself rather than on general ideas about the issue that it addresses" (122). This was helpful to me because I understand now that I need a lot of examples. I could use them even in my introduction. Next, a thesis was hard for me to create at first. However, after reading this quote, I felt like I had a better grasp on it. It read,  "What do we observe or understand about the ways it tries to persuade its audience?" (122). I needed to think about how it's persuading the audience it was directed to, but then I need to consider the audience that I am writing to. In other words, the thesis that I had created (#2) was the most accurate to this. Next, body paragraphs seemed intimidating to me because I was unsure how many I should do. The text clarified saying,"Focus on analyzing one or two of the strategies that you feel are most essential to the persusiveness of the text" (124). Instead of writing about ethos, pathos, and logos, I need to write about only two. This was hard for me to do because I think ethos is hard to write about in a detailed manner, but I thought that this source lacked pathos. Therefore, I wrote my body paragraphs about logos and pathos. As for the conclusion, I normally do well in this part. However, the book said, "Think about the implications of your analysis, or why you feel these strategies make the text persuasive or not" (125). I think this falls under the category of me saying "So what?". For every conclusion that I do, I try to incorperate this. I think I can add more about how his strategies convey the message more than I would have prior to reading this.

The text's rhetorical situation might include:

The identity of its author/speaker

Dr. Kirtida R. Tandel, Department of Pharmacology, Government Medical College, Surat, Gujarat, India.

The primary audience it is clearly intended for (if that's clear) and/or other, secondary audiences who would likely be reached or affected by the text

Anyone who is interested in nutrition, general public. However, my audience is incoming students of my field who want to learn how to write an argumentative paper for my field.

The context surrounding the creation of the text (when it was made public, the medium or genre it occupies, contemporary events that may have shaped author or audience's attitudes or opinions, social or historical movements related to the text and its topic, the cultural and linguistic backgrounds of author and audiences, the physical surroundings of the event or text, and/or other texts that might relate to yours - this summary of options was cribbed from Student's Guide page 180)

ClkerFreeVectorImages. "Oak Tree Outline Nature Silhouette Ecology." 10/07/14 via pixabay. CC0 Public Domain License.

The ideology or cultural values present in the text and its relationship to author and/or audience or both.

Foods all around us contain artificial sugars

Your text's unique and specific cultural setting

It is a current issue because many foods that are marketed to the general public contain artificial sugars.

Your own assumptions and/or bias as the one performing analysis on the text (NOTE: If you mention this in your analysis, it should be a supporting or secondary concern that should not get in the way of the main purpose of Project 2).

Artificial sweeteners are detrimental to our health. We consume them unknowingly, but they can cause harm to us. It is important to be aware of these harms and to avoid these fake sugars.

The message and purpose of the text

Inform the audience that artificial sugars are more harmful than beneficial.

The text's rhetorical strategies might include:

• How the text uses appeals to credibility or character
• The way the text uses appeals to emotion
• The way the text uses appeals to logic or rational decision making

_____________________________________________________________________

OUTLINE

Introduction

I am going to create a hook to draw my reader in. I think an example like shopping and buying foods that contain artificial sweeteners will be the most effective. Then, I am going to introduce the author and give a mini background on artificial sweeteners.

Thesis (adapted or revised from one of your draft theses)

I am going to use my second thesis that I created.

Body Paragraphs

I know my author mentioned a lot about logos because he used a lot of information, statistics and facts. He used a lot of ethos, but I think pathos would be the most effective in explaining this to my audience

Analytical Claims

Tandel appeals to logic through utilizing facts to inform the reader of the harms of artificial sweeteners.

Tandel appeals to ethos through his knowledge of the topic, which highlight his ability to persuade the audience to believe that artificial sweeteners are harmful.

The support you plan to offer up for each claim

I plan to give many examples from his article. For example, I will specifically refer back to the specific harms that the artificial sugars impose on us and how he uses these to appeal to the logic in order to persuade the audience to believe that artificial sugars are harmful.

I plan to give examples of how he states many things that most people without research would not know. For example, he mentions every chemical, he mentions the benefits as well. Since he is educated, he is using this to his benefit in this article because he never states his argument. He provides a lot of information without saying what side he's on. This uses his ethos because by merely giving more information for against artificial sweeteners, he is able to persuade the reader to believe that there are more harms.

Your essay's conclusion

I will reinstate the thesis and provide a connection to the original general idea of shopping that I had created. Next, I will reflect back on the claims that I made about his work. Then, I will proceed to explain how he used these claims to further his argument

Reflection

I read Grace Elizabeth Mahan's blog post. I think she did a good job addressing every aspect of the outline. I think she lacked detail. For example, she would say "his point of view" or "support". I wanted to know more about the point-of-view and support. After reading her post, I learned that I did an adequate job describing more in depth about the direction of my draft because hers was very simple. I think the way I did it allows me to write more easily for my draft because a lot will already written down.

I read Joki Potkonjak's blog post. I think she doubted her abilities too much. She has everything that she needs in her draft. However, she thinks that I have more of my paper put together. I think I spent a lot of time on my outline because I was confused about the assignment. I wanted to make sure that I did it properly and had enough information to do it right. I think if Joki spent some extra time on the outline or while writing the draft, she will feel like she understands it more. For instance, I wrote specific examples because I wanted to better understand the topic. Joki did not do this. Maybe if she did, she would feel more confident. I learned that spending a lot of time on drafting shows because I was confused, too. However, I got a lot of positive feedback.